Now to move on to self-love that is an improvement in your life is what will be dealt with and discussed here. Starting with yourself use your mind to think of thoughts that describe you. How many of those would you perceive as positive? How many of those would you perceive as negative? My suggestion is to write this down on paper labeling one side positive, the other negative and separate them with a line. Try to write at least 10 things about yourself or how you feel about yourself. Now keep in mind this is not about what others say about you because that would be about them, for instance have you ever been called stupid or an idiot by a complete stranger? They do not even know you so what credentials do they have for making a judgment? Perhaps you have been called this or other things by people you do know such as loved ones and friends. Yet again this would be about them not about you. Keep in mind when someone decides to get mad and lash out that they have just lost control of their own power. There is most likely some deep rooted reason about themselves that caused that reaction towards you or someone else.
Continuing with the exercise, after you write some things that you truly believe about yourself I would like you to start with the first one that is positive (Hopefully you have at least one positive and if not dig deeper because I can assure you there are several). Write down beside it why you feel this about yourself. Chances are it is because you are confident in this area and you just know that it is a strong point you possess. Now look at your first negative and also write down why you feel this about yourself. Remember that because someone else said it is not being used here for a reason since it does not validate to be true and they are not allowed to speak here. They must hold the silence unless they are dealing with themselves then they may participate as well. Once you come up with a reason why you feel this way about yourself try and think of or remember a time that you picked up this belief. Was it at a certain age? This could actually be tied to another person because you had/have such love or respect for them that you accepted it as your own. Maybe you do not even remember when you took this belief because it has been so long and you just believe it to be so.
Now that you have put one reason for a positive and a negative of why you feel this way about yourself go on to do it for every one you listed on paper. The purpose of this is that if you have more negative than positive you can most likely guess where your self-love scores on a scale of 1 to 10. However do not let that be the focus, it does not mean you are hopeless or broken because this is actually a great way for you to work on bringing to the surface of why you feel this way about yourself and to get past those limiting beliefs. Think of it this way, if you can raise your level of self-love then how much more can you become aware and come to the realization of how others reactions cannot affect you? Having compassion is a form of love so that would be fine however letting someone else determine your mood or day is where it is best to draw the line. In fact as you become more aware of other peoples actions you can even become more compassion for them. If they are angry at you then this would be due to their suffering and they are only blaming someone else because they believe it will alleviate the pain they are experiencing at that moment. Although it is only temporary relief since it is not getting to the root of their problem. These same people generally are always angry, whiny or blaming someone else since it seems easier than taking responsibility for themselves and what role they play in the circumstance. If only they could see how they are sabotaging their joy of life by not closing in on that they are giving away all the power to someone else and therefore will always feel powerless as long as they are playing the blame game. If any of this describes you then it is time to get to a better place by claiming any emotions that are perceived to be caused by other people and come to realize that it is up to you to decide how to be in control. It is your responsibility to own up to things in your life without overreacting and saying this is all someone else fault. Granted other people may be involved that caused situations, part of moving forward is dealing with it and working things out without getting into a screaming match or belittling another person.
To give some examples of how to show your own self the love you deserve. Drinking a glass of water over a soda because you know it is the better choice. This of course could also be a food choice. Another example would be to get out for a breath of fresh air to clear your mind of any anxiousness, fear or worries. It could be something like anytime you get a negative thought in your head and turning it into a positive such as you might think I’m not able or qualified to do this task to one that says I am more than able using my mind, talent, research or any resources you have available to you. Do not rule out other people, many are more than willing to help you get what you need accomplished if you are willing to ask. If not, then move on till you get to someone or something that gets you closer to your goal. There are great people out there who want to help others. Tell yourself giving up is not an option you will succeed! This empowerment will elevate your self-love and help you move towards the love and success you deserve.
Did you know that self-love will also help you conquer your fears? Love is total acceptance of what is. This force inside of you called love is waiting to overcome that fear which was most likely caused from a past event or thought that entered your mind some time previously.
Self-love will transcend any perceived weaknesses to strengths and any strong points to higher awareness. It moves you to creating your own life, making your own choices to be as successful as desired.
There is much more than can be discussed with self-love that writing or describing will not even scratch the surface. However I hope that this has enlightened you to a few things you can work on to become aware of your potential and the power you possess inside of you just by letting your love shine through.
Wishing you success and most of all “Love” in everything you set out to accomplish knowing that you ARE more than able. If you would like help in any area of your life lets discuss how to get you from where you are to where you would like to be. Contact me: Tina Uhles
Happy Valentine's Day